Piehl Patch

lesson learned

2010-01-20T10:10:00.001-08:00

After surviving a fast moving stomach virus in our house last weekend, Ryder spent some time reflecting on his experience and shared his thoughts with me this morning during our drive into town.

Ryder: Mom, remember when I fwew up dis weekend?

Me: I do.

Ryder: Weww, I figured out dat I fwew up because I picked my boogahs. It made me fwow up and I am never going to pick my boogahs again.

Me: (not succeeding in not laughing) That sounds like a great plan Ryder.

Ryder: Yep. I weawwy wearned my wesson.

And lucky me, since Wyatt can't stand for Ryder to be praised alone, he also vowed to stop picking his "boogahs". Approaching such vows with a grain of salt is a lesson I have learned, but I certainly appreciate their intentions.

high praise

2010-01-14T10:27:00.000-08:00

I'm wallowing in pudding and the praise of Larry Woiwode who told me that ours (mine, mine, mine actually) was the very best holiday letter he'd ever received. I won the prize and he sent us the reviewers version of his most recent book, A Step From Death: A Memoir. I have now reached the apex of my post-English major life. Or maybe I've kicked off my finest decade. Not sure which or both, but its all good.

bad PR is good PR

2008-10-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

Ed Schultz is a twisted genius! He walked off Fox News this morning in what could be defined as a fit of pique or a flash of genius and either way he wins.

Ed's way is not necessarily any kind of PR recommendation I would make, but I should and I'm working on it. If you want traffic and if you want to be in the mix, you've got to embrace the controversy. Ed's my Web 2.0 poster child.

Mother's little helper

2008-08-14T09:54:00.000-07:00

Here's something refreshing -- a male blogger on Wondertime recognizing and chastising his mates on the unequal distribution of work between men and women. It's the universal bitch of the working mom and I've decided to mostly get over it. But, it always feels good to be validated -- especially by a guy!

My lesson of late is to ask without expectation and you will receive. It helps very much to have the layers of anxiety, guilt, frustration and remorse removed by medication, but I intend to give it a whirl someday without that too!

Future Perfect

2008-07-23T12:30:00.000-07:00

Heidi Heitkamp is the post-menopausal woman I wanna be someday. I didn't even know I had aspirations for post-menopause until she told me how it alleviated her need to be liked. How it inspired her to simply move forward and lose the need to justify or be diplomatic or even concerned with others feeling okay with that. Here's the beauty of it -- this woman ran for governor. She served as ND's attorney general and only now, when she is out of the public eye is she completely unfettered. I wish I could get a shot of that -- an injection of righteous, confident woman-juice.

This comes from the fact that I'm feeling a bit battered and kind of knocked around lately. Maybe the fact that I'm sick of kowtowing and being appropriate is the beginning of menopause! Maybe you have to get fed up in order to get all gloriously and fully womanized.

I think I'll make a vow here and now. First, I'm going to embrace the future. I look forward to 40 and beyond. I'm going to be stronger, better and happier every year moving forward. And I'm going to look to my elders for inspiration. I've been pretty positive about aging, but now I'm going to get with my potential in a big way. I'm going to focus on every moment and find joy when its in front of me. I'm going to observe, and then I'm going to alleviate regret from my life.

And when I achieve all this, I'm going to get out there and offer a hand to the self flagellating 30-something working moms who need the encouragement of knowing that these days are hard but worth it, and that they are amazing, deserving, good good women, excellent mothers and outstanding wives. I'm going to give them the juice!

My Resolution is No Resolution

2008-07-21T13:31:00.001-07:00

I was recently stopped in my tracks by the following radical concept: Not everything needs to be resolved.

This may sound like a no-brainer to some, Shadd for instance was completely nonplussed, but it blew my package-wrapping mind. I am not hung up on the perfect picture of things, but I do have this vision that all things will turn out right in the end. That someday, just desserts will be given and everyone will get on the same page. But life is not this way and most of the resolution I envision, is out of my control. Or so my acupuncunturist/therapist tells me.

I am trying hard to apply this notion to my life. I"m letting things go. I'm absolving myself of the effort I've been putting into this resolution treadmill. On the homefront this is taking the form of a potty-training retreat. No more potty-pushing. No more diaper slamming, no more huffing and puffing and fuming over the fumes. No more lectures on big boys and good boys. The energy lost! We're all embracing things as they are. I'm going to try to be more like them. As Ryder said the other day "Nah, I dont need go on potty mom. I went yast week." It is what it is.

Griswald-style vacation

2008-06-11T22:23:00.000-07:00

We returned yesterday from a road-tripping family vacation. Mom, Pop, 3 kids and a minivan. We took the twin cities by storm -- or at least Wyatt did with a temper tantrum at every stop. I do believe that we're better parents for it. I learned that Owen will take a dare, and then regret it deeply except during his daily dramatic retellings. I learned that Wyatt is not a morning person (6 a.m. wake up call -- "STINKY mommy stop patting meeeeeee!!") Ryder can end a backseat argument with aplomb. To wit -- Owen: Ryder, do you HAVE a big brain like me? Ryder: Nope, but I haf a big belly. I learned that Shadd can tolerate a lot more family time than he lets on and I learned that built-in DVD players are manna from heaven. I also learned Shadd and I can still two-step and that I will always cry at weddings. It's good to be home, but it was a great adventure.

Straddling two worlds

2008-05-07T12:41:00.000-07:00

My wise and wonderful friend, Julia, has been the touchstone of my parenting life. She is not only educated in early childhood development, she works with kids everyday. She explained 2-1/2 to me last weekend. What happens at 2-1/2 is that the child (children at our house) looks ahead and sees the world -- big boy pants, preschool, itty-bitty soccer, independent swimming lessons, chores -- and says "no thanks, I'll stay here in Toddlerville."

But they say this without words or real warning and then one day (okay last week right before a much needed weekend away) I was peeling a weeping child off my leg for ninth time in a half HOUR and Shadd had disappeared into his internal happy place and he wouldn't come out. At that point, I decided to get some advice.

So, Julia explained that they have reverted because the future looks a lot different than the easy ride of baby/toddlerhood. They won't use the potty and they throw tantrums and they CLING like spider monkeys. They have a foot in each world. This explanation helped a lot. I have gained understanding and a terrific analogy du jour. I'm applying this foot in two worlds thing to everything in my life -- and it helps. I'm trying to make some changes, and I miss the mark and fail and revert at times. But now, I'm looking at it anew and I am going to give myself a little more time and apply all the patience I can muster to myself and to these little boys as we all move forward.

A golden egg

2008-04-29T11:36:00.000-07:00

I spent three long days last week home with two stomach-flu sick kids while coordinating two press conferences, a school fundraiser and a interdepartmental mini-crisis. While peeking into the back of Ryder's diaper to check the damage at one point, he asked me, "Whatchyou yookin' for back dere, Mom? A egg?" At the time I laughed and answered yes and he proceeded to tell me all about the egg he laid and the baby bird that would be living with us moving forward. It's been my anecdote of the week.

But, upon further reflection, I've decided Ryder offered a great comment on what I took away from a long, hard week. The whole week offered up challenge after challenge, but every one of those cracked open and offered up a new possibility. Every egg had a prize inside -- greater understanding of an issue or a colleague or myself.

Oddly, I was given a gift of a dozen farm fresh eggs the day after that conversation -- each a shade of sage or brown that I thought only occurred on the cover of Martha Stewart Living -- but lo and behold -- occur in nature too! And they are beautiful in themselves and in their promise. Just like the moments that make up my messy good life.

So, yes Ryder, I'm looking for an egg and I promise that we always will have great fun with whatever we find inside.

you gotta laugh...

2008-04-07T18:06:00.000-07:00

I have a trying child. One of the three. He's sweet too, loving, but prone to fit-pitching and slippery tantrums. Tonight, I'm alone with the three boys and this one throws rice at me at the dinner table which leads to enforced time-out. Then, when he won't stay in the corner I threaten a spanking... and when I go to deliver, I pull down his little diaper and stick my thumb in a mushy pile of poop. This brings the house down. All three boys laughing. Me not so much.

So I nix the spanking in favor of a stern talking to over a particularly messy diaper change. I end with "you got me?" and my 2-1/2 year old imp says "yesh, I unnershtand." Five minutes later, after the imp and his twin have stripped down to their diapers and are jumping on the guest bed, I sternly say "Wyatt, I asked you to finish your milk. Will you finish it now?" and he says, "uuuuummmmmm..... no sir!" I laugh, I can't help it. I roll with it and it's good.

detoxing and debriefing

2008-03-27T16:18:00.000-07:00

I'm detoxing and I'm hungry.

I'm trying to go all holistic on my hive-inducing stress and this includes giving up everything that tastes good. It's the alternative basics and they don't taste very good -- soy and rice and veggies and no sugar or flour or caffeine or alcohol. Writing this down is so depressing! But here's the thing. Its forcing me to think about what we eat, how it affects us and how to eat better and offer better options at home that will provide the best long-term results.

I'm forcing myself to figure out a new set of basics -- not the basics I know and love. Not milk and butter and sandwiches, but instead, rice pasta, tofu and beans. And so this brings me to a workplace challenge (stay with me here). PR is a business of basics with some longstanding delivery channels -- we cover the 5Ws and we charm people briefly with our witty choice of words. We get information out there via press releases, web sites. OK, well we did... and now we're learning a whole new set of basics. Blogs and Twitter and podcasts and wikis and some things even more current than that of course. And these new basics don't taste very good to me yet. I like the IDEA of them a lot, but I'm still trying to get comfortable with them.

So, this, like whole grains and tofu stir fry, is much better for me and for all of us -- I'm clear on that. And I know that if I persevere, they'll taste good too.

Nip it where?

2008-03-19T18:08:00.000-07:00

I'm so obnoxious. The older I get, the more completely I become the character of an English major that Garrison Keillor talks about. I rant and I rave and I ridicule (mostly in private but not always) those who misuse the English language. I've become obsessive about random capitalization, I abhor unnecessary quotation marks and I use words like abhor. But lately, the one that's killing me is "nip it in the BUTT." Intelligent people all around me say it all the time. I'm trying not to lecture, but for the record it is nip it in the BUD. As in, stop the growth, and not bite something in the ass.

I think its a colloquialism, an accent thing from the Germans down in the Sauerkraut triangle, but I need to do my part to nip this little misuse ... in the bud.

March is love

2008-03-07T14:07:00.000-08:00

April schmapril... March is tough. March is frustrating, unpredictable and can range from ornery to glorious. If you can survive March, if you can just put your head down and get through the tough days, March is a wonderful thing and it rewards you with spring at the far end. Appropriately, this maddening and intriguing month is Shadd's birth month. Never boring... that's the trick to March and marriage.

Just in case anyone has NOT read the Shadd Piehl feature in the MSUM Alumni magazine, you can find it here.

front line PR and the easily inflated ego of a minivan mom

2008-02-21T12:11:00.000-08:00

So PR is pretty organic business. The checkout person, the waitress, the receptionist -- the front line folks really set the tone and either carry the day or wreck it for a business. Today, I must commend Arby's on this. This is one of those moments when personal and professional cross paths. And I have to say the service, generally in this town is baaaaad. Teenagers with attitude, etc.

So today I go through the Arby's drive-thru in my mommy-style minivan and order a beef & cheddar b/c I love them and b/c I had exactly three singles in my wallet and some change after buying diapers and a shredder. (These are not related.) So I drive through and the nose-beringed teenage guy who takes my money offers up a little banter. "You should have bought 3 for $5 -- they keep in the fridge and they aren't bad heated up." he tells me. I tell him I'm just not that hungry and then he pulls out the kicker -- the line that will keep this 38-year old mom of three comin' back for more. "I really like your stockings," he says with just a hint of leer. (I have on a skirt and black funky tights -- no garters or anything, just slightly art-y work clothes).

I've been out of the game for some time, but damn whether it was sincere or not, there is NOTHING better than a little ego boost after buying diapers! I left there feeling very good and that's what PR is. Everybody feeling good.

balance due

2008-02-20T13:14:00.000-08:00

I have two 2-year olds. Twins (obviously), and a 7-year old. All boys. My dog is a girl and she wears a very pink collar. I am one of millions of working moms walking the fine line between chaos and fulfillment. I mean, its all good (in theory anyway), but it is not easy. My theory on twins at 2 is that they are exponential. It's like raising 14 kids. People always tell us "oh you are so lucky! I always wanted twins!" We ARE lucky, and we say, "it's wonderful, we wouldn't change it for the world, and we do NOT recommend it."

WHY Web 2.0? Why?

2008-02-19T11:23:00.000-08:00

I'm all about faking it 'til you make it. This is part of why I'm here though. I have got to figure out how to advise people on what they should do to get attention, drive action and manage their crises. That's my job as PR Director (cue wind machine, and me tossing my hair while dressed impeccably withOUT schmutz from the children on my suit jacket shoulder). We just had a meeting on that very thing, and here's my first stab (outloud anyway) at what this whole big old web 2.0 thing means to me and my clients...

Blogs are really the essence of what Web 2.0 is, and I hear tell that Google LOVES blogs. But if my blog or a company blog is going to get anywhere and DO anything, it needs to be authorative, right? I just learned that to be authoritative you must give good link back and have lots of Google juice.

If those terms sound vaguely pornographic to you, don’t worry. They're not! Here’s my interpretation – having a successful blog is like being socially successful. First, you must listen. Listen to your readers comments and then respond to them in a meaningful way. You can't respond as if you were actually carrying on a different conversation, one with a person not there, or someone you'd rather talk to. That's just rude! And far too common come to think of it.

Second, if you know your friends would love each other, bring them together! So with a blog you can connect and link to other blogs or people or products.

And of course, bring the conversation back to YOU (or your Web site or product). And finally, it's always good to be buzzed about. You want people to talk about you/your message/your product to each other. That is what the blogosphere is about, right?

Here is a good place to learn from someone actually in the know. And here too.

Where I live, what I do

2008-02-19T11:13:00.000-08:00

The Piehl Patch is the unofficial name of the two-acre ranchette where I live with 3 boys, two horses, one husband, and a large dog. It is also how I live at present -- throwing things together, patching the gaps, limping through the days, but with an outcome that looks damn good, mostly. Almost as if I planned it that way. My goal here is to patch together a blog that addresses the things that take most of my energy -- PR and parenting.