lesson learned

After surviving a fast moving stomach virus in our house last weekend, Ryder spent some time reflecting on his experience and shared his thoughts with me this morning during our drive into town.

Ryder: Mom, remember when I fwew up dis weekend?

Me: I do.

Ryder: Weww, I figured out dat I fwew up because I picked my boogahs. It made me fwow up and I am never going to pick my boogahs again.

Me: (not succeeding in not laughing) That sounds like a great plan Ryder.

Ryder: Yep. I weawwy wearned my wesson.

And lucky me, since Wyatt can't stand for Ryder to be praised alone, he also vowed to stop picking his "boogahs". Approaching such vows with a grain of salt is a lesson I have learned, but I certainly appreciate their intentions.

high praise

I'm wallowing in pudding and the praise of Larry Woiwode who told me that ours (mine, mine, mine actually) was the very best holiday letter he'd ever received. I won the prize and he sent us the reviewers version of his most recent book, A Step From Death: A Memoir. I have now reached the apex of my post-English major life. Or maybe I've kicked off my finest decade. Not sure which or both, but its all good.

bad PR is good PR

Ed Schultz is a twisted genius! He walked off Fox News this morning in what could be defined as a fit of pique or a flash of genius and either way he wins.

Ed's way is not necessarily any kind of PR recommendation I would make, but I should and I'm working on it. If you want traffic and if you want to be in the mix, you've got to embrace the controversy. Ed's my Web 2.0 poster child.

Mother's little helper

Here's something refreshing -- a male blogger on Wondertime recognizing and chastising his mates on the unequal distribution of work between men and women. It's the universal bitch of the working mom and I've decided to mostly get over it. But, it always feels good to be validated -- especially by a guy!

My lesson of late is to ask without expectation and you will receive. It helps very much to have the layers of anxiety, guilt, frustration and remorse removed by medication, but I intend to give it a whirl someday without that too!

Future Perfect

Heidi Heitkamp is the post-menopausal woman I wanna be someday. I didn't even know I had aspirations for post-menopause until she told me how it alleviated her need to be liked. How it inspired her to simply move forward and lose the need to justify or be diplomatic or even concerned with others feeling okay with that. Here's the beauty of it -- this woman ran for governor. She served as ND's attorney general and only now, when she is out of the public eye is she completely unfettered. I wish I could get a shot of that -- an injection of righteous, confident woman-juice.

This comes from the fact that I'm feeling a bit battered and kind of knocked around lately. Maybe the fact that I'm sick of kowtowing and being appropriate is the beginning of menopause! Maybe you have to get fed up in order to get all gloriously and fully womanized.

I think I'll make a vow here and now. First, I'm going to embrace the future. I look forward to 40 and beyond. I'm going to be stronger, better and happier every year moving forward. And I'm going to look to my elders for inspiration. I've been pretty positive about aging, but now I'm going to get with my potential in a big way. I'm going to focus on every moment and find joy when its in front of me. I'm going to observe, and then I'm going to alleviate regret from my life.

And when I achieve all this, I'm going to get out there and offer a hand to the self flagellating 30-something working moms who need the encouragement of knowing that these days are hard but worth it, and that they are amazing, deserving, good good women, excellent mothers and outstanding wives. I'm going to give them the juice!

My Resolution is No Resolution

I was recently stopped in my tracks by the following radical concept: Not everything needs to be resolved.

This may sound like a no-brainer to some, Shadd for instance was completely nonplussed, but it blew my package-wrapping mind. I am not hung up on the perfect picture of things, but I do have this vision that all things will turn out right in the end. That someday, just desserts will be given and everyone will get on the same page. But life is not this way and most of the resolution I envision, is out of my control. Or so my acupuncunturist/therapist tells me.

I am trying hard to apply this notion to my life. I"m letting things go. I'm absolving myself of the effort I've been putting into this resolution treadmill. On the homefront this is taking the form of a potty-training retreat. No more potty-pushing. No more diaper slamming, no more huffing and puffing and fuming over the fumes. No more lectures on big boys and good boys. The energy lost! We're all embracing things as they are. I'm going to try to be more like them. As Ryder said the other day "Nah, I dont need go on potty mom. I went yast week." It is what it is.

Griswald-style vacation

We returned yesterday from a road-tripping family vacation. Mom, Pop, 3 kids and a minivan. We took the twin cities by storm -- or at least Wyatt did with a temper tantrum at every stop. I do believe that we're better parents for it. I learned that Owen will take a dare, and then regret it deeply except during his daily dramatic retellings. I learned that Wyatt is not a morning person (6 a.m. wake up call -- "STINKY mommy stop patting meeeeeee!!") Ryder can end a backseat argument with aplomb. To wit -- Owen: Ryder, do you HAVE a big brain like me? Ryder: Nope, but I haf a big belly. I learned that Shadd can tolerate a lot more family time than he lets on and I learned that built-in DVD players are manna from heaven. I also learned Shadd and I can still two-step and that I will always cry at weddings. It's good to be home, but it was a great adventure.