Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Straddling two worlds

My wise and wonderful friend, Julia, has been the touchstone of my parenting life. She is not only educated in early childhood development, she works with kids everyday. She explained 2-1/2 to me last weekend. What happens at 2-1/2 is that the child (children at our house) looks ahead and sees the world -- big boy pants, preschool, itty-bitty soccer, independent swimming lessons, chores -- and says "no thanks, I'll stay here in Toddlerville."

But they say this without words or real warning and then one day (okay last week right before a much needed weekend away) I was peeling a weeping child off my leg for ninth time in a half HOUR and Shadd had disappeared into his internal happy place and he wouldn't come out. At that point, I decided to get some advice.

So, Julia explained that they have reverted because the future looks a lot different than the easy ride of baby/toddlerhood. They won't use the potty and they throw tantrums and they CLING like spider monkeys. They have a foot in each world. This explanation helped a lot. I have gained understanding and a terrific analogy du jour. I'm applying this foot in two worlds thing to everything in my life -- and it helps. I'm trying to make some changes, and I miss the mark and fail and revert at times. But now, I'm looking at it anew and I am going to give myself a little more time and apply all the patience I can muster to myself and to these little boys as we all move forward.